The October Snow
by galloper
Summary: "It wasn't the cold that bothered Elsa, it was that she still had no idea where she was." Takes up the story about a week after the final of season 3, though the first chapter is more about Elsa's past than the present. Focusing on the problems Rumbelle and Outlaw Queen have to face.
1. Prologue

**Hey everybody,**

**this is my very first fic, so I'm a bit nervous, but also very exited! Writing it has been a lot of fun, and helped me move on from the terrible feelings I've had after the final. **

**It's going to be a multishot, this is only the first chapter. I plan to publish the whole story during this week, one or occasionally two chapters every day, but we'll see.**

**I hope so much that you'll like it!**

* * *

Rumplestiltskin gathered his rage and held out a ball of fire to the young woman before him. He maintained it for some moments so she could admire it, then he let it burn out.

'Your turn, dearie.'

The blond girl clenched her fingers and stared at them, her ice blue eyes reflecting the eagerest concentration.

From her palm exploaded a puff of snow and a miriad of ice shreds.

'_How the hell did you do that?!_'

* * *

Elsa stared at her own hands in excitement. She had always brought cold with her wherever she went, made the sky darken and the winds raise, even used to make the ceiling drizzle snow in her room, but never before had she done something like this. Snow from her palm, intentionally! She grinned at the flabbergasted man before her.

'I did it!' she exclaimed. 'I controlled it!' Rumplestiltskin just narrowed his eyes. '_How?' _he whispered, almost as if threatening. Her smile died. 'I just… I just did what you said. Focused my anger,' she explained apologeticly.

He frowned and sighed. 'Fair enough dearie, let's see what you can do… Close your eyes and do as I say.'

Elsa was still excited, but now also a little afraid, and uneasy because of his reaction. Nevertheless, she closed her eyes obediently. 'I want you to go back to the moment where you were the angriest, the most desperate. Try to recall that moment as precisely as you're able to, and reclaim your emotions.'

Elsa remembered. The day her parents told her she could not play with her sister anymore, not even talk to her again, ever, because her powers had to remain a secret. It had been so hard to keep them in! She had been so lost, so lonely and sad! So angry and desperate; but she had been just a child, a good girl who did as she was bid and so she was shut away in her room of cold isolation, and was forced to stay there till she grew up fully. Her whole childhood had been ripped from her; years and years spent alone in the slowly falling snow, without the dear little Anna or any other living soul.

_She is standing in front of her door, she wants to get out but there's no way, she's going to stay here for the rest of her life and never see anything of this beautiful, cruel world as if she's never even been born into it… She can never hold her sister in her arms again…_

A single fat teardrop rolled down her cheek. 'I see you can feel it ' Rumplestiltskin said silently. 'Hold it…'

Her desperation took over her completely.

'…and now let it go.' Elsa took a deep breath and as she exhaled she imagined knocking down her door, but nothing happened.'Stop thinking about it,' the wizard said. 'Magic… is pure emotion. '

Elsa concentrated. She tried to forget about her memories and the the present, even about what she was trying to achieve.

_Let. It. Go._

A cold wind arose, first just gently, then it turned stronger and stronger, wilder and wilder. Dark snow clouds gathered on the sky.

The the little stream beside them froze in an instant, as if startled by the sudden change.

The wizard's features betrayed surprise and amazement. When he pulled himself together, he shouted, 'You have to stop it!'

'How?!' she cried out in fright. She was losing control again!

'A good memory! ' he shouted back. 'I don't have any!' she protested, panicking. 'You _do!_ Everyone has one, even me! Come on, Elsa, I know you can do this!' He looked just as afraid as she was.

'No, no I can't!'

'You have to!'

Elsa tried to remember the day when they had built a snowman with Anna, but the blizzard around her and the panic in her head were all too real for her to _feel _that moment; there was nothing she could do! 'You do it!' she screamed at the wizard. What was he waiting for?!

'If I could I would have stopped this madness by now!'

No.

_Now_ she was really afraid. She fell on her knees, holding her head.

'_Watch out!_'

She snapped her head up. Rumplestiltskin was throwing a ball of fire at her. She cried out and held her hand up, protectively… and she practically locked him into a block of ice.

There was a roar behind her and as she glanced behind her back she realized that the wizard had thrown that ball not at her, but at the snow monster that was approaching.

The last moment before she blacked out she managed to freeze the beast.

* * *

On the morning after that fatal trip of Emma and Hook into the past, Prince Charming got out of his bed and walked to the window. Still clumsy from sleep, he pulled the curtains apart and his jaw dropped.

He didn't know what he had expected, but it wasn't this.

Staring outside in disbelief, he called out, '_Snow!_'

* * *

It wasn't the cold that bothered Elsa, it was that she still had no idea where she was. What _was_ this world? It was strange and unsettling, alienating even, not at all like Arendelle or the Enchanted Forest. In fact, it was only now that she realised how similar those two other worlds were. Here, everything was completely different. The stone roads and the metal carriages, even the clothes and the houses.

Only one thing about it seemed familiar, that the moment she arrived she had covered it in snow, banished it with an eternal winter. Whatever this town was, in whichever crazy world, she was sorry, but there was nothing she could do about it.

It was an early night; she had decided to look around on the streets while all the doors were shut, all the curtains drawn against the dark and the cold.

She turned around the corner and bumped into somebody. She was shorter than Elsa, wore a strangely cut coat and cried fervent black tears that left scary strains on her face. 'I'm sorry I didn't see you coming,' she sputtered immediatelly, afraid that the woman would figure that this weather was her fault and considered her enemy.

'It's nothing, ' she muttered, and hurried away.

'Wait, ' she reached out for her, hoping to ask for answers, and, without meaning to, she sent some shreds of the ice flying after her. As she ran further and further from her she thought she saw one of them hitting the back of her head.

Her heart squeezed with guilt and terror. _'Wait!_'


	2. Haunted

Away.

It was the only thought that kept running through her mind.

Away.

She couldn't think of the fact that everything since their proposal had been a lie. She couldn't think that all those wonderful moments had not been real, that they had all been tainted by a poisonous secret. She couldn't bring herself to look back at their wedding and realise that even then, he'd been lying when he had said that the monster was gone. She couldn't digest the fact that it had never been gone, that despite all that had happened he had never really changed. Her mind refused to dwell on how she had known all along that in some way, he had to be responsible for Zelena's death, and yet she had believed him because she so desperately wanted to.

Just away.

She couldn't shape the idea again, not even to thrust her tortured self in an even more painful pit, that while she had been his in every possible way, he had never really been hers. That while she had trusted him with all her heart he still had been able to deceive her so foully.

She _had_ thought all of this, back in his house when she had found out about his lie, but by now only the emotions remained, as if her flesh had been torn away and only her sorry skeleton was running on these hateful streets where bloodthirsty memories waited for her at every turn. Her thoughts were lost, maybe somewhere in a better world that she had known once upon a time.

But her feelings were more intense than ever, so overwhelming that they swallowed up the world. They were a whirlwind, and the eye of the storm was the horror of betrayal.

Sadness. A hopeless sorrow at least as deep as the ocean itself, mighty and ruthless. Betrayal. A red anger, a flaming passionate fury, hot rage spiced with hatred. Betrayal. Fear. Fear that if she didn't run fast enough she would fall down in the snow and never get up. Disillusion, like she had just woken to a terrible world from a beautiful dream. Betrayal.

She bumped into something. No, it was some_one_! She opened her mouth to apologise, but the woman had already said it. 'It's nothing, ' she muttered over her shoulder, and let her legs carry her on.'Wait.' she heard it only bluntly through the sound of her heavy breathing, the crunch of snow below her feet and the wind in her ears. She wouldn't stop.

Something fell into her neck. Something cold. It was like a snowball, maybe, just not that thick; probably just a bunch of snow from a roof, she didn't care to explain.

'Wait!' shouted that someone again. Belle was so blind from tears and pain that it could have been both Granny or Ruby, she could never have told the difference. But whoever she was Belle wouldn't stop. She had to get away from here. Fast as she could.

She had to pull her hood up because some of the snow somehow still lingered on her scarf, like a painful shred in the back of her head.

* * *

She had left the last houses behind and was nearing the town line. It was still a good mile away, but she could see the edge of the forest on the far end of the field where it lay.

She knew that if she crossed it, she might lose her memories. Since the new curse had been broken no one had dared to try out what might happen if they left the town, so it was possible that it didn't have dire consequences anymore… but honestly, she doubted it. Accidents, loss of memories, flying monkeys… the past had proven elsewise.

But she would take her chances.

This world wasn't bad, and by now she knew it well enough to find her place in it. She would change her name, look for a job, rent a small cozy flat in a big city where she wouldn't be found so easily, read her books and remember her old life only as a fading nightmare.

And if she really forgot about everything after she crossed the line, maybe that was even better. She would gladly have left her memories behind, it was losing _herself_ that worried her, becoming someone like Lacey for the rest of her life.

The wind was gradually getting stonger… and colder. The freezing air burnt her lungs and crept under her coat, but she didn't care. At least it was even more unlikely that someone came chasing after her. Her cheeks stung, and she realised that her tears were slowly turning to ice, so she quickly wiped them away. She doubted she had ever run this much, or this fast, especially both hat the same time, and yet she could discover no signs of physical exhaustion. Anger gave her wings.

Was that the shape of a man in the distance, or just an old log? She tried to see but her eyes were watering now not only from crying but also because of the wild wind that cut in her face; and the snow had begun to fall. She did her best to keep herself away from it, but apparently, the log was a man and had already noticed her, because he shouted at her, though what she could not hear.

If she turned around right now she could avoid meeting him, but she refused to do that, she had to get away! So she changed her course only slightly, and hoped that if the man caught up on her she would still be quick enough to escape his grip, and that then she could sprint for the line without further disturbance.

'Belle?!' he shouted again. She didn't know who he was, and thank God, he wasn't Rumple, but she would still have preferred it if he didn't know her. And how the hell did he recognise her from that distance?! He had to have the keenest eyes.

After a while it became clear that she couldn't avoid meeting him, and she felt that her tears were flowing twice as fervently as they had been up to then. She was aggravated by the injustice of the world. She had given all to Rumple, her trust, her faith, her dignity, her _heart_ – and he ripped it from her hands and gave _nothing_ in return. Wouldn't they let her run away at least? Was that too much to ask?! Who was this man before her who thought could decide her fate? Hadn't they listened?! No one could do that but her!

With a fury she had never known she thrust her head forward and ran straight towards the man.


	3. A Spell Cast By No One

She was not going to let him stop her and talk her into staying here - the worst place in all the worlds, a sorry haven to the victims of a continuing curse. She was not going to beg him to let her pass. She was not even going to try to be quick.

She would simply run into him with the greatest speed she could manage, and knock him on the ground. _That_ he wouldn't expect. Even if he didn't fall, or if they both did, she would still have the advantage of surprise.

The wind was howling, and it slapped snowflakes in her face. At least the world had dropped its mask tonight, finally letting it show that it was just as cruel as it was beautiful.

The man had noticed that she was running towards him so he stopped running. By now he was close enough for her to take note of the typical way he narrowed his eyes at the wind.

It was Robin Hood.

She gritted her teeth and braced herself for the impact, while all the rage she felt at Rumple now turned on Robin. She had saved his life! His wife's, too, and their stupid little child's! Was this any way to repay her?! Standing in her way when she desperately needed to get away?! The _bastard_. She should have let Rumple skin him. She was afraid to look in her heart and find out if she really meant it.

'Belle, what's-'

'_Get out of my way!'_ she yelled at the thief. He looked completely taken aback, but – or precisely that's why – he didn't move.

Seconds before she would have reached him Robin suddenly flew up into the air and was thrust sideways by a huge invisible fist.

_This _she hadn't expected.

He landed a good ten meters off, and although she was hugely surprised she couldn't prevent a sly smirk that decided to steal itself on her lips.

For the tenth of a crazy second she thought that it was the wind but then she realised that it could only have been magic. For once, her thoughts returned again; her mind offered a number of possibilities on who could have cast it. The Ice Queen was nearby… Rumple had come after her… It was Regina, The Blue fairy, Emma, Tinkerbell… But they weren't there, none of them, there was no one here but her and Robin Hood…

But surely, Robin wouldn't have done this to himself, even if she boldly assumed he was able to do magic.

And that left no one but her.

Even if deep down she sensed that it was so, even if it was the only explanation, even if she had done it before when she had protected Storybrooke, she refused to believe that she had cast a spell.

She didn't understand herself. She didn't understand her anger, or her smirk, and most of all she didn't get this spell cast by no one. She had never been like this… but then, how could she have been so foolish as to fall in love with the Dark One and think that it wouldn't leave a mark on her mind?

She glanced back. Robin had gotten up and was running after her with all his might. Too fast. He kept shouting, too, but the wind was whizzling so madly by then that she supposed she couldn't have heard him even if she wanted to.

At one point it seemed that he could catch her, but then he stumbled and fell down on his knees... 'Hey, where do you think you're going?!'

She didn't look back again, or bother to answer.

Her steps were blessedly swift.

_Away_.

* * *

No, he couldn't allow this to happen! He tried to keep up, shouting, „you cannot do this!", but the snowstorm blew his words away like arrows, never to hit the target, never to be heard. And he was heavier than Belle; while she ran swiftly on the top of the stiffened snow his feet were swallowed up by each step, and the faster he tried to run the more he stumbled.

The wind cut right through him, dead straight, as if he came out here naked and not in his warmest coat. Hell, it was supposed to be October! The world was spinning and he couldn't decide whether it was him turning or the blizzard that raged round and round with a dizzling speed.

The only reason he could still locate Belle was the fact that she was wearing black – had it been any other colour, it would have simply been swallowed up in all this white.

He couldn't believe he was unable to catch her. He had to help her! She had saved his life once; if not for her, his whole family would long have been gone. He hadn't forgotten; he would return the favour.

Could she have already crossed the town line? How many steps were left for her? Two, or ten, or twenty? And for him?! It was impossible to tell in all this snow.

He fell down again. 'Belle, _DON'T_!' he shouted as loudly as he could, and he was sure that this time, she heard it.

But it didn't make her stop. Nothing would make her stop.

The loud crack of a frozen branch breaking rang above the land, and it seemed to Robin, here at the end of the world in the howling wind, like the silent crack of four haunted hearts.


	4. When All Went Wrong

**Hi, and a big thanks to every wonderful reader who are still with me!**

**This one will be mostly from Regina's point of view, a little sad I must admit, but still, this is one of the chapters that I waited to post the most.**

**If you're enjoying this story, please leave me a short review, it would help so much to know what you liked or what I should improve on. I would be inexpressibly grateful!**

* * *

She lay at the feet of the traffic sign that said „Leaving Storybrooke".The branch that had hit her head lay beside her, broken and perfectly still, as if it knew what it had done and regretted it. She was unconscious, and frostwork adorned her right cheek. He knelt beside her. Was it just the poor light, or was her hair a darker shade of brown than it used to be?

Gently, he pulled her away from the town line, then pressed a fistful of snow on the bump on her head, laying her in his lap so she wouldn't freeze on the icy ground.

Were they in the Enchanted Forest, they would have been doomed. But this was Storybrooke, a world where they had already invented a wonderful equipment: moblie phones. Shivering even at the thought of it, he pulled off his gloves so he could use it, and called the first person who plopped into his mind: Regina.

* * *

She was sitting in her dark living room, sipping red wine from an elegant glass. Henry was sleeping upstairs, and this knowledge was the only thing that kept the pieces of her shattered substance together. Rest was avoiding her of late, so instead of futile efforts to fall asleep she just sat in the dark, dreaming awake of the past. Occaisonally, a teardrop would glide down her cheek in a perfect arch, leaving a cool trail behind, and she didn't wipe them away for fear that the motion might open her tear ducts and then she woudn't stop crying all night.

She hardly moved a muscle; she was staring outside, examining the stars as if there was something about them that could help her find out where she went wrong, a question she'd been asking herself over and over, night after night.

When she saved Snow's life? When she fell in love with Daniel? When she ordered the slaughter of a whole village? When she started learning magic? When she gave up freedom and married the king? When she murdered him?

When she was born?

Or was it when she turned her hate upon Snow White and gave in to her rage? _I should have let her_ _die on that horse,_ she had said. She swallowed. Perhaps that was that.

The stars provided no answer, but as she studied them she couldn't help but feel a little hopeful, and somehow she believed the beauty of the world again.

Some said that the stars only mocked them with their unreachable perfection, but she couldn't even imagine feeling that way. To her, they have always been providers of hope and strength, reminders that there was some light even on the darkest nights. They never interfered an individual's life; they never helped anyone, but neither did they work against them, the way other people sometimes – or, in her case, always – seemed to. They were always there on the night sky for those who cared to look to them for strength, no matter who they were and what they had done; no matter if they were a queen or an evil queen or just a girl in love, no matter to which world they fared. She trusted the stars.

So when was it? Could there really be a point in her life where she had spoilt eveything, an action that had turned the course of events the way no other had? If there was, she figured, trying to approach the problem from a different point of view, it would be something she regretted.

And then she knew. Her mind displayed the memory of the closing door of a village pub and the shape of a certain tattoo. _You didn't just ruin your life_, Tinkerbell had said_, you ruined his._

So there it was.

She was going to fall down on the floor and cry her eyes out till she fell asleep, and Henry was going to find her there in the morning and be terrified… She clutched the back of the couch so it couldn't happen. Every last part of her was hurt, but most of all her lungs that struggled so desperately for breath.

She grabbed her glass and downed the rest of the wine in three mighty gulps. It helped.

Her cell phone, which she had left in the kitchen table, rang out, disturbing the flow of painful memories and unwelcome tears. She was happy for the distraction, but only until she saw who was calling. Robin Hood.

She was not going to pick it up. She had more pride than that. Besides, she was sure that whatever he said would hurt even more than her current thoughts. Furious about his arrogance and afraid of getting hurt, she fled from the room, but then she changed her mind as she realised that she wanted to hear his voice too much to miss the opportunity. She hurried back into the kitchen, feeling foolish. She would pick it up and if she didn't like what he had to say, she could always disconnect.

She took the phone in her hand and hesitated for yet another moment before she finally picked it up and held it to her ear. 'Robin?' she said, somewhat coolly.

'REGINA!' he exclaimed, so loudly that she almost dropped the phone in fright. 'I'm at the town line!' he bellowed. She held the phone furhter from her ear. 'With Belle! I think she tried to cross it!' What the hell? Still jumpy beacause of his loud greeting, her mind struggled to process the information uselessly. 'She is unconscious, and ice cold! I don't know what happened to her but I think it might have something to do with Elsa!' Elsa?! Her heart squeezed nervously. She could hear a constant whizzling, and she realised why Robin had been so loud – he was trying to outshout the wind! She glanced outside, but everything was perfectly still.

Something was wrong. Something was terribly, terribly wrong.

'God, it's so cold here. I'm not sure I could-'

The line broke.

She freaked out.

She lowered the phone and stared at it in panic. Robin was in danger! She had to go to him, to save him, to help! But how was she going to do that if she didn't even know where he was exactly?! And Elsa, was she there with them?! If she was, Regina couldn't be of much help on her own. The girl had covered the whole town in snow in one night, who knows what else she was capable of? What the hell was she going to do?!

Call help.

Yes, that was it.

Robin needed help, and so did she. Who to call, though? Her first thought was the Charmings and the second that they were useless.

Gold. Gold knew Elsa. And damn it, Belle was there with Robin, too, he had the right to know about it.

While she waited for him to answer her call, she drummed her fingers nervously on the back of a chair, and she didn't even realise that she was playing the rhythm of a half-forgotten melody.

'Regina.' His voice seemed to calm for such a situation.

'Listen, Gold,' she snapped as if it was all his fault 'Robin just phoned me-'

'And why does that conern me?' he mocked. She rolled her eyes in frustration. Not for the first time in her life, she wanted to strangle the know-a-lot. '_Because_,' she stressed, 'he's stuck in a blizzard at the town line with Belle, and if we don't help them, they might freeze to death or worse.'

'What exactly do you mean by "worse"?' his voice was so tense that she half expected the phone to explode in her hand. 'Robin said that Belle was unconscious and that…' she tried to rephrase what he had said in a more sensible way, but she didn't manage, so she simply repeated his words. '…that he didn't know what happened but it might have something to do with the Ice Queen.'

'Elsa? Are you sure?' To hear how worried he was wasn't too comforting.

'Well, that's what he said, ' she snapped impatiently. She had had enough of his overthinking everything. There was no time to waste! Didn't he want to save Belle just as much as she wanted Robin? She waited for him to say something, to come up with an overcomplicated plan that would still work out in the end, but there was only silence. Her heart left out a beat. 'Gold?!' she called. Could the line have broken again?! 'Gold, are you still there?!'

'Yes, yes, I'm here, I'm _thinking!'_ he hissed. Great, he was motivated.

'Should I alert someone else while you do your little thinking?'

'No, there's no time,' he informed her. As if she didn't know! Some moments later he went on, 'Get Zelena's necklace- I trust you still have it… Do you?' Zelena's necklace? What the hell was it for? '…Regina?'

'Yes, but-'

'Which road are they on?'

'I don't know, he didn't say! Just that they were at the-'

'Alright, then I'll check everywhere and leave you a message when I find out,' he cut her off. 'Get the necklace!'

'But-'

He disconnected. How polite.


	5. Long Live the Evil Queen

Elsa was following the footprints of the woman whose mind she had probably frozen despite herself. She knew she couldn't help her, but she also knew that someone else might be able to, and she had to warn her before it was too late.

She remembered the last time this had happened too well – the accident when poor little Anna had gotten that white lock in her hair.

Once, an ancient stone troll had called her abilities a great „talent" but now she was wondering if he had only been trying to be kind. What if there was no hope, what if she would never be able to control her powers, because they weren't even powers, just a mighty curse that would always be there to shade her life – however she deserved it?

It seemed that whatever she decided to do ended up as something worse. She almost killed her sister when she was just trying to play, so her parents shut her in her room. As soon as she broke free, she brought winter to their whole kingdom. When she travelled to an other land for help, she locked her teacher in a block of ice and almost killed him, and so he locked her away too. And now she had only been out for a few days, and look at the damage she had done!

She had to fix this.

She had left the last houses behind long ago, or at least it felt like long ago, and she was wondering how far the woman might have gone, and how far she could get if she didn't catch up on her to warn her in time. She started running again. Had this storm around her been brought to life by her fear for the stranger, or had the winter she had created decided to make its own rules?

And then she saw them, two people carrying a third – it must have been her, she had to help them! She ran swift as a deer to reach them as soon as possible.

'Is she… is she alright?' she gasped. The two men jumped as if they had seen a snow monster. The short one gathered himself up sooner. 'No, no she isn't. Have you done this?' Guilt twisted her from inside. 'I didn't mean to… it was an accident…' his eyes were stones, and he looked awfully familiar. 'I came after her to help… I'm… I'm so sorry…'

'Well,' interfered the taller man, 'if you really wanna help, then stop this storm, or the whole winter for that matter.' If only she was able to. She felt like she would burst into tears in a second, but her eyes remained dry. She shook her head wildly. 'I can't… I can't control it!'

'You might wanna try with this,' said the old man. He reached into his pocket and presented… a necklace? She almost took it, but her past had taught her to be cautious. Her hand stopped halfway and she looked into his eyes suspiciously. Why did he look so bloody fa-

'_You!_' she said and took a few steps backwards, startled.

'Elsa… 'said Rumplestiltskin cautiously, 'Elsa, please, you have to take this, it will help you, I promise!' He promised?! He had promised to teach her how to rule her powers and she had believed him, and how did she end up? Locked in a vase for all eternity. It was only thanks to her good luck – she paused here: yes, her _good_ luck – that she wasn't rotting in there still!

* * *

He knew that look. He knew that look. Where had he seen it before? His mind screamed in a helpless panic, as if his life depended on finding it out. _Where did he know that look from?!_

And then it dawned on him, crystal clear like an icicle. It was as if time had stopped only for his sake, so he could comfortably relive the memory and let the knowledge sink in.

_The Queen is dead_. He heard Regina's voice in his head just as clearly as if she was standing right beside him and saying it just then. He saw her smirk, reflected by a mirror from the past.

_Long live the _Evil _Queen_.

With a sudden terror he realised that his life _had_ depended on recognising that look in time. And he hadn't.

_No._

* * *

Robin watched in shock as Elsa raised her clenched fingers and Rumplestiltskin descended into the air. A wind began to whirl around him. He dragged Belle further from the enraged Queen.

'Elsa, please, ' the wizard appeared to be powerless against her, 'please don't do this. I'm sorry!' But he had only achieved that the wind around him filled with ice shreds.

Robin sneaked closer, as if he was stalking a deer. The only way to save Belle, he figured, was to save him.

Elsa spread her arms wide, and Robin leapt to knock her off her feet but he was too late. Elsa's spell sent the deadly ice blades through the wizard's body and shoved him backwards. He flew far before he finally landed, no doubt suffering from the worst of agonies. Elsa jumped up immediately and stepped on Robin's back, forcing him to stay down.

It felt as though her sole had nailed his heart to the frozen ground.

'Robin!'

He had never been so happy to hear anyone's voice in his life.

* * *

Regina could not seem to be able to find them. She had left them when in the end they had all lost their sense of direction, to find the way back to town. She had, but now she was threatening to lose it again as she appeared and reappeared in several different spots near the town line. All of them looked just the same in the storm and there was no sign of them anywhere. She was beginning to grow desperate. Although she knew now that he was alright, although she knew that it was Belle's life at stake, and although she knew that he had left her for Marian she was still worried for Robin terribly.

As the purple smoke faded before her eyes once more, probably for the hundredth time, she saw Elsa - she couldn't have been anyone else in her blue dress and blond braid –standing over somebody on the ground. She hoped it was Rumple and not Robin but after a few seconds it became clear that it was the thief.

'Robin!' she cried out. Elsa snapped her head up. 'Leave him alone!' she screamed at the girl, and her magic shook the earth under their feet. She sent fireballs at her, and one of them must have caught her because she cried out in pain before turned to run away. 'Don't you dare come back!' Regina yelled and sent a dozen more fireballs after her.

The storm had stilled as if it had never existed.

Robin was struggling to his feet. She helped him up. 'Are you alright?' 'I think so,' he gasped, rubbing his chest, 'but I'm afraid the same could not be said about Rumplestiltskin.' She turned around but she only saw Belle, who was still unconscious. 'He's over there,' Robin pointed in the distance.

They hurried to the old fool. His eyes were closed and he didn't even notice they were coming. He was lying on his back and his face contorted so painfully that even Regina began to pity him.

'Gold!' she said sharply. She shook his shoulder. His teeth bared and he hissed in pain, but then he grabbed her sleeve and pulled her closer. 'Here,' he said, wincing as he pulled a small book out of his coat and handed it to her. His voice was barely audible. 'I marked the spell that will heal Belle.' His eyes were still closed. 'You'll need help, but you'll manage. Cure her. You locked her away for three decades, you owe her that much.' Regina had never thought she would feel guilty about that action of hers, but it seemed that she did after all. Gold's eyes opened, and he clutched her arm tighter than she would have thought a dying man could manage. 'Save her, 'he said.

She promised herself that she would. She _did_ owe the poor girl that much… and more. If someone had locked _her_ up for that long she would have ripped their hearts out the moment she got out. Why hadn't she thought of this ever before?

She nodded firmly, and got to her feet, but she was reluctant to go. Somehow she was feeling very tired, and like she couldn't leave yet because something was missing. She realised that she didn't want to leave him here like this. Her oldest rival, the man she despised and mistrusted most of all people, and yet somehow she felt a little sympathy for him in the end. She turned back to him, surprised of herself. 'And what about you?'

She found it funny that despite all his pain he still managed the compulsory smirk, but she could not smile or laugh. 'Me? Don't worry, I'll last,' was all he said.

Regina hurried away with Robin on her side. Now that the snowstorm was gone it would be easy to get Belle back to town. She quickened her steps to chase that awful feeling away that had somehow gotten root in her.

She wasn't grieving him, was she?


	6. These Cold Winds

He was going to die right here, all alone at the edge of their small world in a snowstorm that shouldn't even have been there, with a thousand shreds of ice sunk in his flesh.

At least he had saved Belle. To think that if not for Robin Hood, now it would be her lying here like this, freezing slowly into a restless death...

'_Elsa!_'

He hurt. His whole body was stinging from this burning cold, and every breath was a torture because of the deadly shred that sat in his chest, just above his heart. And yet the physical pain was nothing compared to the agony his magical halo went through. Elsa's spell had torn it to shrieking pieces and although he was turning to ice he felt like his brain had caught on fire.

He would have screamed but his lungs were barely working. He would have bled but these cold winds froze his blood before it could flow out.

He didn't know how much time had passed since Regina and Robin had left him; it could have been a half-day, or just a few hours. He wondered if he would get to see a last dawn before he finally passed away.

_'Elsa!'_

Was someone shouting in the distance, or was it just a contorted echo of his mind? He _thought_ he could hear footsteps, but he didn't trust his senses anymore, all dulled almost utterly by agony.

'_ELSA!'_

His eyes flipped open.

The girl almost stepped on him; she cried out in a shocked surprise and jumped back. Was his tortured conscience making her up? Was she just a ghost, a shade, a notion, a herald for the giant bird of Death?

No, she had to be here for real; if she was a vision she would have looked like Belle.

She knelt beside him. 'Have you seen Elsa?' He didn't even try to speak, he just nodded and he had to grit his teeth so as not to bite his tongue while the icy blades in his neck cut deeper under his skin. 'What happened to you?' she asked.

'_Me,_' said a voice he had hoped he wouldn't hear again before his death. The girl jumped up. 'Elsa!' She ran towards the Ice Queen, arms spread wide, but she just turned away.' Don't come any closer!' she ordered sharply.

'But-'

'I don t wanna hurt you.'

'But I don't understand, Elsa, how would you hurt me?'

It was an awful feeling, choking on laughter._ Have you still not put it together, dearie?_ A new wave of pain washed over him, and he digged his gnarly fingers in the snow and sucked in some air in through his gritted teeth. Although his eyes were shut tight he could feel Elsa's on him. 'What, you still alive?' she asked dangerously.

_Not for long,_ he thought miserably, forcing his eyes to open. 'Bad luck, that I'm back to finish the job,' she said. His heart sank, slowly giving in to the cold. Did she know as much about bad luck as he did?

It was pointless to try to stop her now, for the ice in his body and the grip of her magic on his were already killing him, but old habits do not die easily and he had some nasty ones about self-preservation. 'Don t,' he saw stars from the pain but still he managed to press the words out. 'You might hurt her, too.' Whoever she was.

Elsa glanced back at the girl hesitantly, but when her eyes were on him again they reflected the same unmistakable evil glow as before.

'Elsa, don't!'

'Stay away, Anna!'

'No, _you_ stay away!' sang the half-forgotten voice of an angel.

She had come for him.

* * *

Emma wouldn't move from the door.

Belle unfolded her arms and stood up straight. 'You can come with me,' she said, trying to stay calm, 'but don't even try to stop me. I'm going after him.'

They were at the library; Blue, Tink, and an other fairy were rearranging everything that had been moved during the process of healing her. When she had woken up, she wouldn't rest until they told her what had happened, and when she heard that Rumple was out on his own, dying or dead already, she jumped off the desk she had been laid on, and ran for the door immediately. If Emma hadn't stood in her way she could have been out by now!

She couldn't explain how she could be so worried for Rumple when at the same time she was mad at him - she had never believed in ambivalence - but it seemed that despite all he'd done she still loved him too much to let him die.

'It's pointless,' Emma argued, 'we'll just have to bring you here and restore your life all over again.' Belle could have hit her. When it had been about Henry, she had all but expected Rumple to go with them to Neverland! On the whole, she liked Emma, but sometimes she couldn't help noticing just how selfish or incredulous she could be.

'Listen to her, love,' Hook joined in. Now,_ he_ was speaking easily! She wouldn't have been surprised if he would still be a bit glad about the Dark One's death. 'He's not dying,' she yelled at the pirate.

'She's right,' interrupted Regina's voice. Emma's eyes opened wide. 'You can't be serious.'

'I am,' said the Queen. 'If we all go together we will stand a chance against her.' Emma hesitated for a moment before she finally muttered, 'alright.'

'I'm driving,' declared David, but no one paid him much mind.

Just as well.

* * *

Before she left, Regina turned back to him. 'Are you alright?' He was leaning on a desk; he looked up with some difficulty and his wincing heart rejoiced at the sight of such beauty. 'Yes, m'lady. It's just I'm still a bit frosty.' She looked so worried that he was moved.

'I'll be fine,' he hurried to comfort her, and although he knew he wouldn't, he managed to fake a smile.

* * *

Belle noticed them in the distance, two women arguing over the body of the man she hated and loved more than anyone else; and she began to run.

'Stay away, Anna!'

'No, _you_ stay away!' she screamed at Elsa in a clear voice. She sprinted faster than ever before, including earlier that day, and threw herself between Rumple and the Ice Queen. It pained her to see him like this - wounded and tortured, covered in snow, turning to ice, his life hanging by a thread. 'He's not yours to kill!' she shouted.

She had no weapon but his fake dagger which she had brought with her from the library. She aimed it at Elsa, determined to use it if she had to.

'If you wanna kill him you're gonna have to go through all of us,' David had joined her. For once, she was so happy for his blunt bravery that she could have thrown herself at his feet. Some seconds later Regina, Emma and Hook caught up on them too, gasping for air.

'Fair enough,' said Elsa, 'if that's what you want.' Belle's heart raced with fear. If she wanted to kill them all to take her revenge on Rumple, she _could_ do that, right? She slashed at her with the dagger.

'Stop!' the other girl jumped between them. Anna, was she?

* * *

Rumplestiltskin felt a comfortable warmth taking root in his heart. Was he finally dying that he could no longer feel the agonies of his body? He opened his eyes, and saw a dark grey sky. The warmth spread through his chest and his lungs slowly filled up with the cold predawn breeze.

To his left stood a wall of people, and he wondered if he had known them once before in an other life, because their voices seemed alien but their words familiar. The ice shreds melted in his limbs and he realised he could move his muscles again, as if he was alive.

How was it possible?_ An act of true love._ He thought about it: a kiss, a hug, a teardrop, a gentle touch on the cheek... would sacrifice count? Staking one's life to protect the ones they loved? That was what the angel had done, wasn't it?

He made an attempt to struggle to his feet, feeling dizzy as if he'd woken from a dreamland or a sleeping curse. Although his body had been thawed his magic was still torn; his head was thumping and the demons inside were still shrieking, but he managed. The angel noticed him, and strode towards him with an angry gleam in her eyes. 'Belle,' he whispered, 'I'm so sorry, Belle...'

She threw the fake dagger before his feet and slapped him hard across the face, then hurried away and left them all in a tense silence.

For a long long time, there was no sound but the swelling whisper of the wind that would bring the dawn.


	7. A Fugitive of the Past

This is what it would feel like, Robin realised, to be turned to stone by the legendary Medusa's fiery eyes, if we slowed time.

First he just felt very cold and very tired, but after a time the pounding of his heart slowed down, frost flooded his veins and stilled his limbs, and in the end, it was even beginning to be hard to breathe…

He was a dead man still alive, a living statue, a prisoner waiting for his execution, a lingering ghost, a tin man without a heart.

He didn't want to die before holding his son in his arms one last time.

* * *

It was Regina who broke the silence. 'Well, I suppose you've earned that,' she he told Rumple. She had expected him to fight back, to snarl at her like an impatient dragon like he always would, but he only said, with more guilt in his voice than she had known even existed, 'I have.'

'Elsa, let's go,' pleaded the girl called Anna, 'I have a way home.' Elsa's eyes opened wide with surprise and hope and delight. 'You do?' 'Yes,' replied Anna, just as excited, 'a magic bean! Chris-'

'Hush,' Elsa silenced her and looked at them as if she had noticed it only then that they were still there. She eyed them with hateful suspicion. It was scary to see how fast she could transform from a happy girl into the Ice Queen.

Her eyes stopped on Rumple. 'I will let you live,' she hissed, bursting, 'But just don't think for a _moment _that I will _ever _forgive you.'

'It's alright, dearie, I don't need your forgiveness,' he said. Or was it really "I don't need _your _forgiveness"?

Elsa's eyes narrowed; she turned away abruptly and pulled Anna with her as she hurried away.

* * *

'Where is he? ' Marian pushed herself inside the library. 'I've heard what happened, came as soon as I could…' her words caught up in her throat.

He was sitting in the corner, just as he always would, his handsome face etched with a regretful sorrow… and he was made of solid ice.

There was a terrible moment when she had already understood what she saw but could not – would not – believe it yet, a horrible second when her belly twisted, her lungs refused to draw breath, and her heart ceased to beat at the sight of his lifeless expression.

Did she cry out his name before she ran to him, and fell down on the floor by his feet? Was she crying, and wailing, or was she as silent as a dead lake? She didn't know, and it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was that his beautiful body had been frozen by some foul spell, that his life had been robbed, that she would never hear his voice again or fall asleep in his arms, that the glow of his lively eyes were gone for good and would never return…

_Not now_, she thought miserably, _not now that I've just got you back._ She wished she had died in that prison; it would have been a better fate than this; this that required her to witness his death.

Despite he was painfully cold, she threw her arms around him and kissed the ice that had been his lips.

'You can't wake him up,' said a silent voice sadly. Wake him up? Was it possible to wake him up?! 'What?' she asked in an hysteric bit of laughter.

The Blue Fairy's sympathetic expression, she couldn't explain why, didn't seem genuine. 'Only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart.' But she loved him! No one loved Robin more than her in the whole world, why wasn't he waking up?!

'You may love him,' the fairy went on, 'and he may love you back, but you can't wake him up, because you aren't supposed to be here.' Marian struggled to understand her words, to interpret their meaning among the helpless screams of her soul that demanded to know why he wasn't waking up. 'You weren't supposed to live to see these times. And therefore magic refuses to let you have any influence on it.' Marian tried but did not understand, it was too complicated for her bent little mind.

'But I was saved,' she protested, 'I escaped the prison, the past, my death!'

'Yes,' said Blue, 'but you can't run forever.' What was that supposed to mean? What did the fairy think she was running from? Her destined death, or her past, or just the next prison?

Why wasn't he waking up?

She was crying so fervently that her whole body shook.

* * *

Someone tried to pull her up. She clutched to the leg of the chair he sat on, tight, but her fingers were unfolded and she was dragged away from his feet. 'No, ' she pleaded weakly, 'no, let me back to him.' But they didn't listen. Her teared eyes never left him, not for the shortest moment, no matter how many people were getting between them, and so she noticed immediately when someone replaced her by his side. 'Robin,' her voice was hoarse, and she had short, dark hair. She was too broken to know her, to pay attention to who she was, but she already hated her. No one was allowed to call his name like this, no one except her! She took his frozen hand in hers and whispered something before kissing him.

Marian didn't know how long it lasted for Robin to wake up, but when he finally did, instead of looking for her, his wife, he lost his glance in _her_ eyes.

When they kissed each other she pulled free of the gentle hands that had supported her for a time, and flung at the Evil Queen. She wanted to hurt her; to claw her eyes out for loving Robin as much as she did, to kill her for being able to save him when she wasn't, to strangle her a thousand times because Robin loved her back.

But she was stopped, pulled back and shouted at, so she ran outside, and roamed the hostile streets till her jealousy turned her mad, till all her tears burned away.

* * *

In the outskirts of town, she heard some people talking in the distance, and she hid from their eyes; she didn't want to talk to any living soul. If Robin was able to fall in love with someone else then her life wasn't worth living. She was supposed to be dead anyway, she thought bitterly, as no one failed to remind her every once in a while. Why bother to pretend that it was alright when it wasn't, that their life would go on just as it did before when it wouldn't?

No, no it wouldn't. They would go their separate ways. Robin could have that… _person_… but he couldn't take her son away from her, too. She would have Roland, at least.

The three people whose words she had heard were passing before her hiding place. She had never seen them before. 'But still… ' said a skeptic voice. '…a bean? Will it work?' 'One of those brought us here,' answered another. 'Don't worry Elsa, once we're back in Arendelle everything will be alright.' 'I hope so… Oh I hope so…'

Elsa? Arendelle?

A magic bean? If it was that kind of bean that she suspected it was, then it would be just what she needed. It could take her somewhere where she belonged, where she didn't have to run. Could it take her back in time as well, if she used it on the same spot where she had emerged into this crazy world?

She followed them.

* * *

She was peeking through the leaves of a bush, her heart hammering in her chest. She tried to make no sound, to not spoil it now when she had almost won. They were standing to her left in the gleaming snow.

'Ready?' asked the man. 'Yes!' cried Anna excitedly. Elsa just nodded. 'Alright then…' he said, 'one, two, three!' He threw the bean in the air; it flew in a high, perfect arch.

Marian leapt from the bush and caught it in her fist before it could fall down like a practised acrobat, and then, hoping she could get rid of them among the houses, ran hellbound for her son.

* * *

'Marian!' called Robin as he arrived home. 'Marian, let me explain…' but there was no answer. He walked into Roland's room; no sign of the boy. He was told before that Snow White was looking after Henry and some others for some time so he called her up.

'Is Roland with you? ' he asked, dreading the answer.

'He was,' she said, surprised at the worried tone of his voice. 'Marian took him a few minutes ago. She looked a little upset,' she added cautiously, 'is everything alright?'

Robin stared into thin air, a hundred scary possibilities running before his eyes. 'I don't know.'


	8. That Whirl of Green

Everyone set out to look for Marian, the Charmings, the dwarves, Hook, Granny and Ruby, even Archie with Pongo and Rumple, who was still barely alive; everyone except Belle, who hadn't been seen since that morning.

Robin was dying with worry for his son, and felt horrible for his wife. He ran here and there on the streets, examining footprints, trying to guess where and why Marian had gone, or what happened to her that had kept her from coming home.

In the end, it was Ruby who found her, thanks to her good scent. She alarmed the Charmings at once, and so everybody hurried to the old barn, to the fatal spot where Zelena had been defeated, where Emma and Hook had been dragged back into the past.

Thanks to magic, Regina got there at once, before anyone. She saw how Marian tossed Ruby away after which had no doubt been a hard fight – between a desperate wife and a werewolf, even if the latter was in human form – and how she pulled the crying little Roland to her firmly as she lifted her hand to throw away something. She didn't see Regina, who had appeared behind her back, but Ruby did, and she shouted, 'She has a magic bean!'

Regina acted before thinking. She raised her open fist and the bean came flying into her hand. Marian swung around and noticed her. '_You-_' she waved with her hand and immobilized her, a bit sorry she would never know what she intended to say.

_Where on earth did you get this?_ she thought, staring at the precious little thing in her hand. Roland let out some more sobs, and she suddenly realised that Marian was going to use the bean to get away from here – with her son!

As much as she had wanted to hate her earlier she never really did, because it wasn't her fault that a fool had brought her here from her past, but in this moment she despised the woman more than she ever had anyone. She knew what it felt like, when the other parent attempted to take your son from you, and she couldn't bear imagining that Robin would have to suffer what she did when Emma had arrived in Storybrooke at first.

Ruby got to her feet with some difficulty. 'Well, it didn't take too long,' she said, as if acknowledging that magic wasn't always such a bad thing. Regina hurried to Roland, and bent down to comfort him 'Shhh, it's alright now, I promise' she mumbled, stroking his gorgeous locks of curly hair.

That was when Robin, David and Snow arrived. 'Marian!' the thief shouted. 'What happened to her?' he looked at Regina desperately and his look felt like a knife twist in her heart. She remembered how he had been lost in her eyes after she had woken him, and she knew that he loved her just as much as she loved him, because otherwise he would still have been ice, and yet he was so worried for Marian as no one ever had been for Regina. 'She was about to attack me so I immobilized her,' she sad in a flat voice. 'She's alright.'

'Papa?' said the little boy at her feet hopefully. 'Roland!' he burst out with relief, picked him up from the ground and hugged him tight.

'_Are you in there?!_' A shout from outside.

She couldn't be sure, because she had met her only once in her life, even if it was that morning, but she could have sworn that she had heard Elsa's voice. _Not you again,_ she thought, filled with dread and anger, remembering too well how Robin's heart had been frozen… and then realised that this bean must have been the same one Anna had been talking about. She didn't know what to say or what to do – she knew that the wrong move, and one of them would end up as Robin did, again. All of them stood unmoving, staring at each other at their wit's end.

The threatening voice of a swelling wind came, and the earth shook below their feet. 'What's happening?' Snow whispered.

'I have a pretty good idea,' said Gold's voice behind, too loudly after their silence. When had he gotten here? She jumped and turned to see him peeking outside through a split in the wooden wall, leaning on his cane. 'Silently,' she hissed at him, and, quietly as she could, she walked beside him to look outside too.

She didn't like what she saw. Not at all.

* * *

The snow monster had laser-blue eyes, teeth and claws made of sharp icicles, it was three times as big as a horse, and it was moving slowly towards them. Towards _her. _

She glanced at the bean inside her fist, filled with dread. Elsa wanted it back, and there was no time to explain her that she would gladly get rid of it, too.

They backed away from the wall, to the middle of the barn, and just when she thought she was more or less safe, another beast appeared behind them – some kind of an ice lizard. It ran inside faster than she could follow, chased by Emma and Hook who were shooting at it with drawn guns constantly but uselessly. The creature attacked her; she flew long meters and almost hit the wall. She landed painfully on her side, – no snow in here to dull the impact – heard Emma shouting her name and firing at the lizard, and saw David swing his sword.

Ice shreds flew into the air as the sword cut down one of its legs. As she struggled to her feet she saw as Robin hid Roland behind some blocks of hay, pulled out an arrow and sent it through the giant lizard's eye with a deadly accuracy – only the beast was moved by magic, and the only way to kill it was to tear it to pieces. The barn shook as the snow monster behind her back made an attempt to break through its wall – luckily it failed. Normally she had control over the flow of events,but now wasn't one of those times, because she had never seen the likes of those creatures or a kind of magic like Elsa's before; and she was beginning to panic.

Someone grabbed her wrist and twisted the bean out of it. She realised that it was Marian, whom her spell must have released because she couldn't concentrate on keeping it up in this chaos. She ran after the woman but was knocked off her feet once more, this time but the tail of the lizard. 'Robin!' she screamed, knowing that maybe she was the only person in here who suspected what Marian was trying to do, but he thought that she was shouting for help, and only came further from his son. 'I've got it!' cried out Ruby, and ran for Marian as swiftly as only a wolf is able to.

But she didn't.

Marian was smarter than she would have thought: she dropped the bean behind her so the opening portal would swallow Ruby up. But Ruby was smarter than _she_ had thought, and had keener eyes, because she noticed, stopped, and backed away. Too bad she stumbled in something and fell. 'No!' Regina shouted. She got to her feet and ran for the whirling green mists fast as she could, watching with terror how Marian did the same on the other side, dragging her son behind her. She wasn't going to get there in time…

Marian somehow stumbled, and the portal was drawing her in… Regina caught the little boy's coat and would not let it go, not even when she fell under the power of the portal herself…

'Hold my hand!' shouted Ruby, reaching towards her from the ground, and she realized why Marian fell – Ruby had tripped her, so Regina got another second and could catch the boy in time. She grabbed her hand gratefully – to think what would happen if she ended up in an other realm without Robin or Henry but with Marian…

Robin had slid an arm round her waist and together with Ruby, they pulled her out. He helped her to her feet, then got his son up in his arms and held them both tight to his chest, his eyes never leaving the spot where Marian had disappeared.

* * *

After the portal had closed, there was a sound like an explosion on the far side of the barn where the others were still fighting the lizard. She turned in Robin's embrace and saw a mighty fire that had emerged out of the blue below the creature's feet.

'There, that should get you going,' hissed Rumple, sounding exhausted. The lizard melted away, shrieking as if it were a real animal not just a block of ice.

After a while they allowed themselves to draw a relieved breath... before walking outside to face Elsa.

Instead they met Elsa, Anna, the man called Chris- something, and the snow monster that stood beside them, waiting for Elsa's command. 'Wait,' cried Mary Margaret. 'We mean no harm! ' Elsa found this funny, but she went on. 'We wish to negotiate!'


	9. Forever

There was a celebration at Granny's, as there always should be when matters are settled and everything is finally alright. Elsa was promised that she would get an other bean – the stalk in Regina's house that she had grown while Greg and Tamara were threatening the town was luckily still in place, growing fast and healthy - but she would have to wait for a few months before a new set of bearing would attain full growth. Although she was still a bit suspicious, she didn't cause any more trouble, and, if the winter hadn't disappeared, at least it grew a bit warmer and they no longer had to fear sudden storms. The children were finally let out to play in the snow; one had to watch out for snowballs when walking on the streets, and the wide grin of snowmen greeted them on each corner.

Regina left the diner as happily as she could possibly be with a broken heart. She was even smiling, although there was no one to take note of that on the empty streets. She was the hero of the day, again. Henry had promised to go home with her, like he had done up to now, knowing that it supported her more than anything else, but he wanted to stay in the diner for a little while longer; so when she couldn't bear to watch a single more time how Hook imitated the snow monster or smile patiently through another toast she had departed on her own. This walk reminded her awfully well of another one, one she had to take about a week ago, only now she felt hopeful and not like it was the end of the world, not like there was nothing to live for and no one to trust. She was proud of no matter how life had held out on her she had still fought the darkness, and, if hadn't returned to being the girl she had once been – there was no way back to that kind of hope and happiness - she had still redeemed and had preserved the strength of her heart.

'Regina!' she turned around, surprised that someone had come after her, and perhaps even a bit irritated that she couldn't go home in peace – until she saw it was Robin. Then, her annoyance turned to nervousness and her surprise to butterflies in her belly. Her heart raced and she was afraid of what he might say, not wanting to get hurt.

'You left so suddenly,' he complained, 'I had no time to thank you properly.' She smiled, and he smiled back, just as sadly, as if they both knew what was on the other's mind. 'If it weren't for you, I would've lost my son,' he said. 'I will never forget.' She was so grateful for his gratefulness that tears welled in her eyes. She fought the lump in her throat to point out, 'You still lost your wife… I'm truly sorry, Robin, it's my fault…'

He looked her deep in the eye. 'No, I won't let you think that,' he sad slowly, as if to make sure she understood. 'It's her own fault that she fell through. Only hers and no one else's, especially not yours. Please, don't burden yourself with that, too.' With some difficulty, she nodded.

'I think I'd better be on my way,' she mumbled before she could get too emotional, but Robin didn't seem to hear or understand. He struggled to press some words out of him, looking like they were the most difficult thing to say in the world. 'Could you…' he stuttered, his voice breaking, his eyes filling up with regretful tears, 'Could you ever forgive me?'

Her tears fell out, but she smiled honestly as she said, 'There's nothing to forgive.' She thought of how she would have felt if it was Daniel who was returned, of how lost and confused she would have been, of how her heart would have ached till it would have ripped into two separate parts… There was nothing to forgive. It was a great wonder that guilt hadn't driven him mad.

He looked so relieved as if she had just decided that he wouldn't be executed tomorrow. 'Goodnight, Robin,' she said warmly.

'Goodnight, my Queen.'

* * *

She locked herself inside the library, and would not come out for days and days. Her emotions were a big knot that she couldn't disentangle; she didn't know anymore how to feel about Rumple or what to think of her mad attempt to escape from town, or the happenings that followed. Her whole world had turned upside down; everything she had believed in fell apart like a false dream, tumbled down like the walls of a castle in a mighty earthquake; her hopes, her trust, his redemption... She could have paused to look inside her heart and find out what lay in its depth, but she just wasn't ready to be honest to herself yet, and his offence was still too fresh, so she just buried herself in books and tried to avoid thinking entirely.

But when she couldn't distract her thoughts with anything anymore her feelings returned, and however perplexed they were, one thing crystallised in her mind: that she missed him terribly. If she had been brave enough she would already have admitted to herself that from the moment his door closed behind her she missed him more than anyone ever before.

She missed his guilty face, his shameless smirks, his abrupt nature and haughty demeanor. She missed his voice painfully, and their silent talks in his shop, and she felt like a single _dearie _would make her happy for a whole day. She missed him when she went to sleep and there was no one to hug onto her heart, she missed him when she woke up all on her own in an empty apartment, and she couldn't be free of him even in her dreams.

But most of all, she missed his _presence_. There was a hole in her heart where true love should have been, and without it she felt lost like a misshapen leaf carried by the wind. Without him around, she felt utterly alone, and she knew that from now on, she always would, even when standing in the middle of a crowd or laughing with a friend, and the thought terrified her.

As the days turned to weeks her anger gradually faded and her head finally cleared. Instead of dwelling on how many times he had wronged her she began to remember the happy memories, and the times he had saved her life. She remembered the day he had died for her, and her heart filled with regret as she realised that he had been ready to do so again against Elsa. How could she have been so unjust as to greet him back to life with a slap in the face and not a kiss of true love?

Instead of trying to understand herself, she tried to understand him. It was easy to figure out why he couldn't resist going after Zelena, it was the other part of the whole matter that she couldn't get her head around. Although he had not always told her everything, he had never lied to her before, and she struggled to understand why would he have done that now when they were getting married, now that the were supposed to be the happiest together.

One day she woke up and had no doubt: she had forgiven him. Again. She was so relieved as if she had been freed of some heavy shackles that had been strangling her heart, but she couldn't help feeling a little afraid for herself; she knew that whatever he did, she would always return to him in the end and let him break her down again and again till nothing was left of her happy hopes.

He could separate her from her family and everyone she had ever known and force her to be a caretaker; he could act like a monster and be the ugliest man she had known and she had fallen for him still. He could shout at her and send her away, she could be locked away, he could break his promises or leave her behind, and she would always go back to him. He could could have died in front of her eyes, and she still refused to let him go, didn't rest till she brought him back to her life.

If she would never stop loving him anyway, she thought, why did she have to be the one to keep them apart?

* * *

She knocked, feeling a thousand things at once. His house looked huge as a castle – it was a long time since she had been here.

The door opened. She had thought her heart had been pounding before, but it turned out that she was wrong – the moment she finally looked upon his face her heart demanded to conquer her whole chest and wanted to tear it apart. She hardened herself so as not to run in his arms before she knew what she wanted to know. 'Belle.' He looked like he wanted to hope but refrained himself because he didn't want to get hurt. He looked like he was the guiltiest man in the world, and then again, probably he was. She wondered, not for the first time, that how could a conscious man like him make choices that he knew he would regret greatly for the rest of his life? 'Why did you lie to me?' she asked sharply.

He hadn't expected to hear that. He looked afraid, but he gathered himself up in a second and said, 'Are you sure you want to hear my terrible excuses?' She did; more than anything. If he had a reason, however pathetic one, she felt like she could get over these horrible feelings about being betrayed. She nodded. She knew that honesty had always been difficult for him, but she didn't care; if he wasn't able to tell this to her now she might as well turn around and head back for the library as if she had never come.

He sighed. 'I lost my son,' he began with some difficulty, 'you know that he was the world to me. And when he died he asked me to kill Zelena so his family – Emma and Henry –would be safe. I had to grant his last wish, Belle, I couldn't let him die in vain!' He sounded as if he was pleading. She hadn't known of this, because they had avoided the topic; and she had thought he had killed her merely for the sake of revenge which he had mastered during his sorry life. 'And then you asked me not to do it. All the while when I was a puppet of Zelena's the only thing that kept me going was the hope that I would break free and I could hold you in my arms again. And when I finally did, you asked me not to go after her… and I couldn't say no, I couldn't risk losing you too!' He was weeping by now, and she thought she knew what he thought: _and I then I have anyway. _

'I would have understood,' she said, 'I wouldn't have been happy about it, and I wouldn't have agreed, but I would have understood.' 'I know,' he wailed, 'I'm so sorry…' She finally let her strict mask drop and smiled at him sadly. 'You didn't give me a chance to understand it then, so I must understand now.' She swallowed the lump in her throat. 'And I do.'

'Thank you,' he whispered, fighting his tears. 'I hope you know how much it means to me.' She just smiled. How could she have left him for a whole month? 'But Belle, don't be so forgiving. I … I've waited for this day since… since…' he couldn't say it, '…_then,_ but don't come back to me. We both know that I will only hurt you again.'

What, and should she just leave him here broken, without anyone in the world who would care for him, without any hope or the slightest chance for happiness? Never.

'When we first met, ' she said, ' and I agreed to go with you, you warned me that it was forever. Don't you remember?' She couldn't keep herself from him anymore, she stepped inside and flew in his arms, right where she belonged.

He clutched to her tighter than ever before. 'God, I missed you so much,' he whispered.

* * *

**...And this is the end. ****Congratulations and thank you a hundred times if you made it here with me! I hope this last chapter have solaced you a bit as well, not just me as I wrote it. **

**Sorry for having posted three chapters today, I know it's a lot suddenly but otherwise you would've had to wait for a week and I thought that that was the worse possibility. **

**(I'm still waiting for some feedback eagerly, so if you feel like, have mercy on me and leave me one, on any of my chapters really, please, please, please.)**

**I hope you're having a nice summer and I wish you all a wonderful weekend!**


End file.
